A Healthy Relationship

Healthy Relationships
While I am currently a single person, I think it is important to address what things makeup a healthy relationship. As an Education & Training Specialist for a local non-profit organization, I spend my days teaching people how to have relationships that will last more than a few weeks. So, here are a few tips to ensure longevity in your relationship.

First, get to know the person inside and out. One date is not enough by any means. You need to learn as much as you can. What makes them tick? What do they do for fun? What do they want to be when they grow up? What are they doing to make their dreams a reality? Take your time to get to know a person. Quick and meaningless relationships almost always result in disaster. And if you need a time line, give yourself 90 days. It may sound long, but in 90 days you have seen the best and the worst in a person.

Second, understand that everyone comes into a relationship with baggage. I hear constantly that people don’t want a partner with a bunch of S@#$ with them. Let’s get real, everyone enters a relationship with experiences that shaped their lives and will undoubtedly shape the nature of your relationship with that person. What you have to access is how much of their s@#$ are you willing tolerate? Do you mind that they went to jail? Does it bother you they have children with a few different people? You have to analyze whether what the person is contributing to your life out weighs the baggage that comes with them. But remember, be kind and considerate. You would want someone to pardon your shortcomings if you found yourself in a similar situation.

Third, talk to each other. If your relationship is based on sex, it is sure to fail. Nights of passion don’t equal love. Communicate with your partner about the things that make you uncomfortable. Often we get angry because our 'significant other' crosses certain boundaries. How are they suppose to know things about you that you fail to tell? It’s okay to say to your partner, “I like when you hold me this way.” Or, “it makes me angry when you do that.” That is what a relationship is all about; making everyday better then the day before. And realize too, that not every day is going to be good. Frankly, some days just suck. But if you are committed, and only when you are committed, will your relationship be able to successfully weather the storms.

These tips are by no means, the end all in relationship advice. They are tips that will help you and your partner develop a healthy relationship founded trust and mutual respect.